liana

Let me start off by saying that 6 years ago, I chose the wrong profession and now I’m stuck with it.  I am a massage therapist.  Don’t get me wrong, I would love being a massage therapist if I had my own clientele and didn’t have to answer to anyone or give them a percentage of what I make.  If I could be my own boss, life would be so much easier. BUT, that’s not the case.  I work for a chiropractor making ridiculously low wages for someone with my experience.  I am making less than what I made 6 years ago with my very first massage job.  I blame the economy for that because there used to be a time when massage therapy was a booming industry…now, I had no choice but to settle for crap, just to pay my bills. It’s pretty sad. So here I am, at a job I can’t stand, with a boss who’s main objective is to make my life miserable. I can’t speak without him taking what I say out of context. He constantly puts words in my mouth.  I honestly think seeing me upset is gratifying to him. Now if only I could be strong enough to not let his words hurt me, but of course I am big baby and start crying. I think he feels powerful when he puts me down. He’s like Jekyll and Hyde. One minute he’s really nice to me telling me that I am such an asset to the company and the next minute I’m afraid that I’m going to lose my job. I actually did try standing up to him, once, and that only made things worse. So basically, if I want to pay my bills and put food on the table, I will have to stay working here and enduring his daily verbal abuse. (pretty sad, huh?)  I have applied for so many regular office jobs, but since I haven’t worked in an office in 6 years, no one wants to take a chance on hiring me.  If I could only find SOMETHING, ANYTHING to get me out of here, I’d be so much happier.  I blame alot of my weight on my stress as a massage therapist. You never have job stability, especially in today’s failing economy.  I’m sure there are 10 people lined up for my job, which is why he can get away with treating me like garbage…he knows I won’t quit.

Sorry for blabbing, I just needed to vent.  I love you all!

So, I haven’t blogged in a while.  I really need to start doing it more often, it’s just that work has consumed my life.  Since my last blog, I am down a total of 11 lbs.  I feel great, my clothes fit better, I’m working out and making healthier eating choices.  (for the most part)  I did mess up a bit this weekend, but now I’m more focused than ever to get back on track.  I have a wonderful supportive boyfriend who is taking this journey with me so it makes it that much easier.   We each have our own goals that we desperately want to meet, which is why were are so focused.  He wants to get into the police academy in April (I need prayers everyone, this is something we really want, especially with the economy so messed up) and I want to be super sexy by the end of this year. Or as Journi puts it “divine in 2009″!!!  I am grateful for all of you and all of the support and motivation you have given.  I am extremely grateful for Shanna, who went out of her way to send me a DVD,  Nancy who is just such a beautiful and inspirational person and my girl Journi who always checks up on me to make sure I’m still on track.  You guys are awesome!  It would be a difficult to lose weight without your support!!