liana

I’m honestly fed up with trying to read any blogs at this point.  It’s too time consuming trying to read through all the spam and hateful blogs created by the same individual in order to try and get to the blogs that matter…and that’s pretty sad.  MOST of us are here for the same reason.  (and I say most because this person is obviously just here for attention) We are all here because we struggle with weight loss on a daily basis.  We sought out people with similar stories to ours in hopes to create new friendships and to motivate one another. I have met some WONDERFUL people on here…wonderful is an understatement.  I have met beautiful, smart, funny, compassionate and downright awesome people on this site…and then there is one…one who must have alot of free time on her  hands to try and hurt people on a continuous basis…but it doesn’t work.  All she’s doing is making herself look like a nut. She continues to act in a way that is far worse then any child I’ve ever met.  I know I surely never acted like that when I was a kid. (or an adult) Most of us were raised with manners and respect.  Instead of being on this site trying to “give help” ( I use that term lightly because she’s crazy) she needs to be seeking medical attention to RECEIVE help because she’s clearly very unstable.

To those who matter, I have the utmost respect for you and your weight loss journey’s.  Every single one of you is an inspiration to the rest of us. <3

I don’t normally like to say bad things about people, but I just cannot keep my mouth shut on this one.  To the person who had the nerve to post on here that Nancy is ugly, I have this to say to you.  First off, Nancy is absolutely gorgeous, inside and out.  She has a huge heart and she is always there for everyone.  Even if she is having a bad day, she is still supportive of all of us. After I had been gone from this site for almost a year, guess who was the first one to welcome me back?? NANCY!   Secondly, true beauty comes from within…it’s obvious to me that you are one ugly b!*$# because someone who would stoop as low as you, is undoubtedly an ugly person.  You know what else is ugly? JEALOUSLY!  It’s all very sad that someone of your age is acting in such an immature and jealous way.  Nancy is the total package.  Not only is she beautiful inside and out, but she also would never stoop so low as to hurt anyone’s feelings. So to you, I say, STOP HATIN’ and get a freakin’ life.

And to Nancy (because I know you’ll read this lol) YOU ROCK GIRL!  You have always been there for me, even when I’ve disappeared for a while.  I truly admire and appreciate you and tell all the haters to kiss your a$$! (They’re just jealous cuz their a$$ doesn’t look like yours girl! lol and you’ve worked hard to get it that way!) <3 <3

I haven’t really been on in the past year and I forgot how important this site was to me…it’s nice to still see some familiar faces.  This time I have to dedicate myself completely to my weight loss, doctor’s orders.  I recently got married and my husband and I would like to try to start a family in the near future.  I went for a physical last week and although I am completely healthy, the doctor advised me to lose weight before attempting to get pregnant.  So, it’s time for me to stop being lazy and selfish and dedicate myself to getting healthy so that I can eventually have a baby. I hope to reconnect with alot of my old buddyslim buddies!!

Have you ever had one of those “friends”, who are just out to make your life miserable…well I have one of those. See, this person and I, haven’t been friends in years. I’ll call us acquaintances…In high school, we were best friends…after high school we had a falling out. She didn’t like the fact that I was friends with someone and defended that person. OWELL So since then, we haven’t spent much time together. Heck, up until two weeks ago, all communication was via a social network. She was planning a trip with her family to a beach about 20 min away from me. (Right now we live about 3 hours apart) She was going to be there for a week. We exchanged numbers and made plans on getting together for lunch. (she has a two year old son that I’ve never met because every time I tried to see him, there were too many excuses flying around) So, when I knew she was here, I sent her three text messages. Never got a response.  Now I’m pretty knowledgeable on the games that she plays, so I knew I wouldn’t get a response and I wouldn’t see her. I even told my boyfriend, I said, she won’t text, call or email me until she gets home…then she’ll have an excuse as to why…Now if there wasn’t history in her doing this, why would I call it EXACTLY? So she gets home and she texts me. She says, so sorry I forgot my phone.  But hmm, we live in 2009 and I know for a fact she was on the previous mentioned social network while she was on her vacation, a simple email would’ve been sufficient! So, in the process of all of this, that “friend” got deleted off of my social network friends list! I did my version of spring cleaning. Well, it took her about a week to realize that she’s been deleted…now she’s won’t leave me alone. She’s calling me childish for deleting her, telling me to keep on playing games, blah blah blah. But who’s playing games? obviously she’s insulted that she’s been deleted but I don’t see what the big deal is. Just leave me alone? I don’t need her as my “friend”. I haven’t seen her in 4 years…what kind of friend is that? I mean, would any of you harass someone if you’ve been deleted or would you take it as lesson learned, move on? After countless nasty emails yesterday, I decided to block all communications from her…SO guess what she did? she started texting me at 7am!  She is the kind of person who picks a fight with you but tries to make it sound like you started it? I’m 32 years old, quite happy with where my life is, I have awesome parents, a wonderful boyfriend and a few very close friends who I love. I don’t need the added stress of someone who is just bitter. She’s always had a way of insulting me and blaming me for things I didn’t do just to make herself look good in the end. I just read thru her texts again and it’s almost quite humorous. She WOKE ME UP and by the last text, she was like stop texting me with this bull and grow up and it’s funny how you can’t confront me face to face, you have to do it thru text….I was like whoooooaaaa! who started it? who’s confronting who??? How old are we? I’m just at a loss for words! So this is my morning! lol I’m so cranky! The good news is that my niece is coming over so I’ll have a 6 year old to distract me for a few hours. Then I’ll head to the gym to take my frustrations out on mr. treadmill…maybe today I’ll call her Mrs. Treadmill and pretend that she’s my annoying “friend”!

I don’t blog very often, nor am I very active in the BS community, however, I do take the time every day to read as many blogs as I can…and I must say, there is soooo much negativity going on lately! It makes me not want to read anymore!  I thought this site was about coming together and supporting each other, not saying negative things about the ONE PERSON who is ALWAYS there for EVERYONE. Over the past few weeks, I’ve seen (on more than one occasion) a blog in some way directed towards Nancy. Now, Nancy and I do not speak very often, but I will say this: Her blogs are the first ones I read. Why? because she is real, honest and struggles every day just like the rest of us. She puts herself out there (good, bad and indifferent) in hopes that she can make someone else’s day a little easier. She is living proof that if we want something bad enough, we can achieve it with healthy eating and exercise, not diet pills or fad diets.  Yes, Nancy speaks her mind, but she does it in a POSITIVE way and I’m sure most of you will agree with me when I say that Nancy is an inspiration to all of us…and if you don’t agree with me, that’s fine, just keep your negativity to yourselves because we are all better off without negative people in our lives.

So I haven’t been on in a week due to a NASTY cold.  I can’t workout and all I want to do is sleep.  I haven’t had many rest days thanks to my lovely boss who won’t allow me to call in sick.  I got this speech this week…”if you’re not here, then I lose money.” (duh, like I don’t lose money too? but how productive do you think I really am when my head is in a vice?) So because I don’t want to lose my job, I continued to work all week.  I don’t really think my patients enjoyed what should have been a nice therapeutic massage with my nose stuffed up and my constant coughing. It wasn’t very relaxing.  So needless to say, I probably infected a few of them, which of course makes me feel bad.  It wouldn’t have  happened if he’d just allow me to REST! So, I am taking this weekend to sleep.  I want to stop having to rely on alka seltzer cold and actually let my body heal.  So, with that said, I will probably be missing in action for a few more days until I’m strong enough to get back on the wagon!

Let me start off by saying that 6 years ago, I chose the wrong profession and now I’m stuck with it.  I am a massage therapist.  Don’t get me wrong, I would love being a massage therapist if I had my own clientele and didn’t have to answer to anyone or give them a percentage of what I make.  If I could be my own boss, life would be so much easier. BUT, that’s not the case.  I work for a chiropractor making ridiculously low wages for someone with my experience.  I am making less than what I made 6 years ago with my very first massage job.  I blame the economy for that because there used to be a time when massage therapy was a booming industry…now, I had no choice but to settle for crap, just to pay my bills. It’s pretty sad. So here I am, at a job I can’t stand, with a boss who’s main objective is to make my life miserable. I can’t speak without him taking what I say out of context. He constantly puts words in my mouth.  I honestly think seeing me upset is gratifying to him. Now if only I could be strong enough to not let his words hurt me, but of course I am big baby and start crying. I think he feels powerful when he puts me down. He’s like Jekyll and Hyde. One minute he’s really nice to me telling me that I am such an asset to the company and the next minute I’m afraid that I’m going to lose my job. I actually did try standing up to him, once, and that only made things worse. So basically, if I want to pay my bills and put food on the table, I will have to stay working here and enduring his daily verbal abuse. (pretty sad, huh?)  I have applied for so many regular office jobs, but since I haven’t worked in an office in 6 years, no one wants to take a chance on hiring me.  If I could only find SOMETHING, ANYTHING to get me out of here, I’d be so much happier.  I blame alot of my weight on my stress as a massage therapist. You never have job stability, especially in today’s failing economy.  I’m sure there are 10 people lined up for my job, which is why he can get away with treating me like garbage…he knows I won’t quit.

Sorry for blabbing, I just needed to vent.  I love you all!

So, I haven’t blogged in a while.  I really need to start doing it more often, it’s just that work has consumed my life.  Since my last blog, I am down a total of 11 lbs.  I feel great, my clothes fit better, I’m working out and making healthier eating choices.  (for the most part)  I did mess up a bit this weekend, but now I’m more focused than ever to get back on track.  I have a wonderful supportive boyfriend who is taking this journey with me so it makes it that much easier.   We each have our own goals that we desperately want to meet, which is why were are so focused.  He wants to get into the police academy in April (I need prayers everyone, this is something we really want, especially with the economy so messed up) and I want to be super sexy by the end of this year. Or as Journi puts it “divine in 2009″!!!  I am grateful for all of you and all of the support and motivation you have given.  I am extremely grateful for Shanna, who went out of her way to send me a DVD,  Nancy who is just such a beautiful and inspirational person and my girl Journi who always checks up on me to make sure I’m still on track.  You guys are awesome!  It would be a difficult to lose weight without your support!!

Well, for the past few months, I have been struggling with sleep.  It’s rare that I actually get a full night’s sleep.  I blame it on my weight and on stress from the economy.  Life hasn’t been easy and it’s affecting my sleep.  Now that I’m starting to lose weight and I’m not as broke as I was a few months ago, I would LOVE to sleep peacefully without my mind racing and tossing and turning all  night.  Any suggestions??

Ok, so this past weekend, I had a minor setback.  I can’t seem to resist chocolate!!  The cookie was just calling my name…and I gave in!  As good as it tasted, I immediately felt guilty.  I guess that’s a good thing.  So, I adjusted my calories accordingly and went on with my life.  I will NOT give in to the “cookie temptation” again.  I want to be thin!!!